Wrap Up 2008 (Paper or Plastic)
Linda on Sundry posted a New Year’s survey, and it seems like a good way to wrap up the year.
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Got married. 
Check out wedding photo blog posts from the last couple days.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I think my New Year’s resolution was to get published, so no. I did however finish my first novel, so I can’t be too disappointed. Next year… maybe.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! Two of Matt’s groomsmen have new little girls, plus another baby girl from Matt’s cousin. My friend Adam had a son. Actually this was a year of many babies, but those were probably those closest to us.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My great uncle Jim died in June, a month and a half before I could make it out to Oregon to visit. My thesis adviser, teacher and friend Sheila Schwartz died of cancer in November, about a week after we got back from the honeymoon. Still processing.
5. What countries did you visit?
Just this one, but we got to see more of it than usual. For our honeymoon, we took the Empire Builder (train) to Seattle, where we stayed for 6 days, then the Coast Starlight down to San Fran (two days) then the California Zephyr back to Cleveland (well Chicago actually, but I don’t know the name of the train we took from Chicago to Cleveland). I’ll get around to blogging this at some point.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A publishing contract would be nice. Beyond that, there are little things I’d like, but I’m happy, so I won’t bother too much about them right now.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Redundant: October 18th, got married. October 6: finished my first draft.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
See above.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Hmm… general procrastination? Oh yeah, and thank you notes aren’t out yet.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Got food poisoning at least once, and a couple bad colds, but otherwise I can’t complain.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Maybe organizing supplies for my desk and studio. Though it’s still a mess so I can’t claim they’ve made a monumental impact.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Uhm, what? I dunno, friends? Family? It’s been a good year.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
If I can’t say something nice, I’m definitely not going to type it on the internet.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Wedding, living.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Redundant: Wedding. Honeymoon. Visiting family.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Anything by the Mickeys.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
Happier!
b) thinner or fatter?
Thinner!
c) richer or poorer?
Er… both?
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Drawing.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Nothing. I mean nothing as in, doing nothing.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With family on Matt’s side, watching the nieces open presents.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Every day. Ewww! That grosses even me out, I’m so sorry.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Firefly, I don’t care if it WAS canceled years ago.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Only when I’m driving.
24. What was the best book you read?
Lying by Lauren Slater.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Quantum Cello a la Radio Lab.
26. What did you want and get?
Matt. Time. Peace.
27. What did you want and not get?
Nothing important.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 27, went out for Hibachi with a bunch of my friends and maybe something after but I can’t remember..?
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I can’t say because I think Dick Cheney would hunt me down and shoot me in the face.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Heeheehehe… what? I think I bought new jeans.
32. What kept you sane?
Matt. Friends. Sleep.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
President Elect About Freaking Time.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Is frustration a political issue?
35. Who did you miss?
Bernadette in Florida. Sheila.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Some awesome people on the train.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Break big things into little things and it’s easier to get them done. Obvious to everyone but me I guess.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
No.
Wild Wedding – The Ceremony
Matt and I didn’t really know going into this what we wanted to do for the ceremony. We figured something simple, preferably without too much specific religious context as neither of us are Christian, and we take our words seriously enough to not want things we don’t believe as part of our wedding.
A friend introduced us to Lisa, a minister or priestess depending on her mood, who is also a henna artist. This worked out well since we wanted henna for the wedding (more on that part later). 
Many people who do a non-traditional type weddings think having their dad to give them away reinforces gender stereotypes, implies women are property, you know. I don’t disagree, but I wanted my dad to walk me down the isle.
Photo by Morgan
The Ceremony was vaguely pagan: half earth religion half Buddhist, which worked out perfectly for us. Everyone in the bridal party carried something in. Jen got the chalice – for the goddess, Amy carried the red cord – for the union, Kim had bread to represent earth, and another Kim had sparkling grape juice, representing water.
Photo by Morgan
Frances is carrying a glass full of feathers for air, Jack has a candle for fire, Brian the blade for the god and Greyson has a chime, to represent divinity and because it sounds pretty.
Photo by Morgan
The zoo actually has a nice “stage” sort of area, which was the perfect place to stand and get married. Probably not what it’s built for.
All the people holding elements had a reading, which we forgot to tell them until the day before. Jack had a hard time not laughing, which I liked because I was also feeling pretty giggly.
Kim read water. That’s her container with the sparkling grape juice in it.
Greyson was ready to ring the chime, which he got to do every time Lisa (or anyone I suppose) said “So mote it be.”
He also led everyone there by hitting the chime at the end when we were officially married. As part of their wedding favor, everyone had little silver bells. The rest of the favor was a box of animal crackers, which seemed appropriate.
There was a lot of kissing, which was good. Overall, the ceremony was very casual and happy, which is exactly what we would have planned for if we’d had any idea how to do so. Fortunately Lisa’s a pro.
Since I told everyone ahead of time that the wedding was slightly pagan, I think some of our family were apprehensive about what they were in for, but it was an inclusive, non-threatening celebration. Nobody seemed worried by the end.
After the elemental readings, we joined hands in the infinity symbol (which my geeky side got a kick out of) and Lisa tied our hands with a red cord to symbolize blood (because it makes us family).
I’d never really thought of where the expression “tied the knot” came from, but I liked the symbolism of being bound together like that, so I’m glad we were able to include it in our wedding.
We wanted to keep our wedding simple, and I think this was, but instead of abandoning tradition entirely, we ended up including several traditions. I think it worked out much nicer this way. When we were floundering around trying to decide what to do, I was a little worried that it would end up being so casual it would feel like we weren’t taking it seriously. We were lucky to have someone to lend us better ideas.
After the red cord was nicely knotted, Lisa said we were married, MARRIED, but we still had a few more things to do as part of the ceremony.
Next came the vows and exchange of rings. Matt’s sister Jen carried his ring in, wearing it on her thumb I think, and my brother carried mine in on his pinky. That doesn’t have any particular significance, but I like it.
When I think of getting married, this is the part of the ceremony I’ve always linked to making it reality.
I guess it’s something to do with the physical symbol, something beyond words. Our wedding was that it was packed full of such tangible significance.
I’m laughing here because when it was my turn to ring Matt, he initially gave me his right hand, and it took us both a second to figure out what was wrong. Lisa actually designed the henna on my left hand to have a gap where the ring would go, but Matt’s hand didn’t have a cheat sheet.
After the rings, we took the chalice and the blade. 
I guess this is called the Great Rite, another symbolic physical thing. The god is the blade. The goddess is the chalice. You figure it out.
After the Great Rite we had our symbolic “first meal” where we fed each other bread and wine, aka sparkling grape juice.
The grape juice by the way was for a few reasons. One, while they probably would have made an acception for the ceremony, the zoo has a policy about all alcohol being served by zoo staff. Two, I actually really dislike the taste of wine. Three, since we wanted this to be a kid friendly wedding, every table had some sparkling grape juice so the kids could join in on the toasts and general drinking festivities. This first drink was much trickier than we expected because Matt is literally more than a foot taller than I am. We got it figgured out eventually though, and then it was on to jumping the broom.
Photo by Morgan
We landed on our feet.
After that, we were married, in every legal, actual, spiritual, whatever sense.
In fact that’s what I kept whispering to Matt all night: “We’re married!”
*Photos by Willow Rosen unless labled: Morgan, in which case they’re by Matt’s brother in law, Morgan.
Related: Wild Wedding – Part 1
Wild Wedding – Part 1
We got married at the zoo in the Cat House. I had a blue dress, henna, and flowers made of metal.
Matt and I got married this October, but we only just got around to meeting up with the Photographer, Willow Rosen, (I’ll post a link to her site when I get it) last weekend. I’m not going to post all the photos here, just my favorites, and I’m going to post them a bit at a time so my post doesn’t end up taking a cyber mile.
These are the formal, posed photos. Groom-al party left to right: Greyson (best man), Matt, Francis, Jack, and Brian (my brother).
We got married October 18th, which happened to also be one of the weekends of BOO at the zoo. Traffic was kind of a nightmare. The guys all managed to get there with plenty of time to spare, but we girls cut it a little closer. Because of this, the guys had a bit more time to have fun with photos.
Obviously. We did all the “official” photos BEFORE the ceremony, with the delusional idea that we wouldn’t keep our guests waiting that way. I think we meant to take a few more shots with just the girls, but then we forgot and decided to just get married already. Fortunately these turned out really nice.
Bridal party left to right: Kim, another Kim, Jen (Matt’s sister) and Amy (best woman… or something like that). Oh yeah, and me. Then below, Matt looking dapper, and wondering where the heck the girls are:
Then on to the group shots. We started outside and Willow caught us laughing at something. We were trying to get a photo that had the snow leopard in the background, but it moved too quickly, and by the time we arranged ourselves it was gone.
On the 3 full group shots, you can click for a larger image. I only included this photo because I think it makes us all look like actors on some new TV show (it’s the dramatic brick wall). My brother said I could only use his image if I paid him for it, so I altered it by 3% as per trademark law, so I wouldn’t have to.
Then there’s this one, a really cool photo of the inside of the zoo, I think that’s the Gorilla area behind us.
And finally my favorite posed photo of just Matt and I.
A lot of the candid shots turned out better than the posed ones, but I’m glad I have these, as formal photos go I think they’re very nice. Some of these will definitely be going in frames. Tomorrow I’m hoping to continue with some of the photos of pre-wedding preparation, including that application of the henna, but that depends on whether I can get the photos in time!
Related: Wild Wedding – The Ceremony
Clandestine Snatchers
When I started this for Illustration Friday, I intended it to be a typical changeling scene, goblins lying in wait to switch their glamoured creature for the baby. Instead it turned out a bit darker, a weird collage of various folk baby-snatchers.
I liked this enough to “finish” it and submit it, but not quite enough to actually go to the trouble of inking it. Maybe after a few more sketches it would have reached that point, but I think the flat effect I’m getting with Photoshop is more what I wanted than anything I would have managed from inking anyway. At some point, I really need to start using these excersizes to get portfolio pieces. Maybe when we’re a bit more removed from the holidays.
Anyway, finished or not, comments and critiques are, as always welcome. Enjoy.
Can’t Get What You Want
On of my peculiarities, and I have many, is that although I love hanging out at coffee houses, I don’t like the taste of coffee. Smell, good. Coffee ice cream, good. Black coffee? Bleagh!
I’m sure I’m not alone in disliking coffee, I get the feeling that for most people it’s an acquired taste, like beer. And like beer, I have to assume that most people start drinking it not for the taste, but for the effect. Caffeine doesn’t seem to affect me, so I’ve never had the motivation to get used to the taste.
I explain this to defend my yuppieness. Since I spend so much time in coffee houses, obviously I need to find something I can drink. Often I find myself ordering the dreaded froofy drinks.
I am a latte drinker. Worse, I am a latte drinker with extra explanations. Thanks to Starbucks, I know baristas are pretty much used to it, but I still cringe every time I ask for skim or sugar free. The interesting thing isn’t that I order yuppie coffee drinks, it’s that I can’t seem to get what I ask for, and they never mess up the parts I expect them to.
With your standard latte, the sweet isn’t quite strong enough to overcome the coffee. The solution is fairly obvious if it’s sugar free, it’s no diet killer to double the syrup. And that is where the confusion sets in.
I make my order as clear as I can, for example: fat free medium latte with a double shot of sugar free hazelnut. This definitely qualifies as a yuppie order, but as complicated goes, I’ve heard worse. So imagine my surprise when the baristas screw it up.
A single shot for a medium drink typically means four pumps of syrup. Logically, a double shot would be eight pumps, but for some reason, when I ask for a double shot, I get two pumps instead. This happens in all different brands of coffee house, with different staff, at different times of day. If this were the only order that produced that kind of difficulty, I’d write it off as a fluke, but I’ve noticed other common misunderstandings.
At Caribou my favorite drink, the one I’m hoping they’ll name after me when I’m famous, is a mango tea with a shot of cinnamon. It’s kind of a spiced fruit taste, very yummy. And not all that complicated, I think. Only every so often it gets confused, in consistent ways even at different Caribous.
One way this happens is they give me an iced tea instead of hot tea. I can kind of understand the mistake in the middle of summer, but this happened to me earlier this week, and I don’t get it. Why do they hear ice when I don’t ask for ice?
The other way this is altered really puzzles me. I’ve only caught it once, though I know it’s happened more often. I gave my order, then watched as the barista typed in “half shot.” This can’t be just a case of a typo because they have to push a special button for half, and when I politely corrected her, she seemed surprised. “You want a WHOLE shot?” she asked? I found that weird.
This isn’t idle complaining. I usually catch the confusion, and when I don’t, they’re very good about remaking it. I am genuinely curious as to why these communication breakdowns are happening. These people aren’t stupid, I chat with them as I order and it’s pretty clear that the bulk of baristas are pretty bright. I don’t think I’m stupid either, and I’m being as clear as I can. So what’s going on?
I do have some ideas. I expect that many people ask for a double when they mean a half. Or some people may just hear double and automatically translate to two. This isn’t really all that weird. Some of it must be trying to read the mind of the customer. I imagine people often don’t order what they want, then get angry when they don’t get it.
Any other ideas? I think it’s an interesting question about human interaction. Is this just the result of weariness, from doing a repetitive job, or do you think there’ something more happening here?
By the way, if my favorite spiced mango Caribou drink sounds good, ask for a HOT mango tea with a shot (full shot) of cinnamon. Once you get your tea, make sure it doesn’t steep for too long, I like a good red color, but not too dark. That usually takes about a minute, because with medium and large they put in two bags. When you order it, be sure to call it Meagan’s Tea.
Photos from flickr users Nate Steiner, Journeyscoffee, quinnanya, and me.
Watching Wall.e
Well, I didn’t get my white Christmas, and ironically, the Pacific Northwest was apparently blanketed in snow, but oh well. Maybe next year. I think stepping outside this morning to be hit with 62 degree air is a fair trade-off. Yay global warming?
Speaking of environmental concerns, one of the gifts Santa brought the girls was a DVD of WALL-E, which Matt and I were excited about because we hadn’t seen it yet and so far, Pixar rarely disappoints.
WALL-E is depressing. I knew nothing about the movie before watching it beyond it being about robots. I guess I was expecting something like, you know, Robots. As Bug’s Life is to Antz, I assumed WALL-E would be to Robots.
Anyone who knows anything about WALL-E realizes that although the main character is a robot, the movie is not about robots at all. The movie begins by zooming over cityscapes constructed from piles of garbage. There is lots of cute robot action around the planet, which, in spite of being monotonous, somehow manages not to get boring. About a half hour into the movie we meet the human beings.
Humans in WALL-E are totally disconnected from reality and each other, kept in perpetual infancy by robot servants, willingly isolated by virtual screens. This is an obvious satire on the current human condition, in some ways not absurd enough. One of the early jokes shows two men carrying on a conversation via the future version of cell phones, as the two sit right next to each other. This is such typical shtick with cell phones today, that it was almost difficult to see commentary. Other sections were more apt. My favorite line occurs when a character loses his permanent TV and is forced to see what is right before him. “Hey, I didn’t know we had a pool!” is both silly enough to be funny and true enough to be sad.
Perhaps the least believable thing in this movie is the friendliness of the human characters, and their ability to deal with change. The characters, waited on from birth, do not seem spoiled or self absorbed. Instead they are excited by the prospect of something new, and completely willing to throw their all into fighting a Dinsey-ized Hal. This seems unlikely, but not totally impossible, as the characters do possess a naivete that keeps them childlike, more able to fight hard for what is “fair” and be thrilled by the new. There are other tricky logic areas, but they are easily ignored, and don’t distract much, even with the cynical voice in my brain saying: “and when they landed on earth, they all died because they had no bone or muscle mass, the end.”
For me the most intriguing thing about WALL-E is its preachy goal. I frown on Disney movies trying to teach children life lessons, but the nice thing about any movie is that you have the option of not showing it to your child if you don’t like the message. And there’s nothing subliminal about WALL-E, it would take a pretty dense adult to not catch the message, so if someone is morally opposed to environmentalism they can avoid it. (Preferably by falling in a hazardous waste dump.)
When the movie started, with the zoom-in over our decimated planet, one of my nieces told me, “That’s another planet. Aunt Meagan, that’s not our planet,” and I muttered, “not yet” and left it at that, but WALL-E would at the very least be a conversation starter. I think our planet is in enough trouble that it’s important to start those conversations early. The important question is whether WALL-E starts the right conversation.
An interesting study showed that children who are read a folk tale about George Washington telling the truth about a cherry tree are less likely to lie than children who are read a story about the Boy Who Cried Wolf. This surprised researchers and is a significant statement about human motivators. While WALL-E is clearly a morality story about our impact on the environment, I’d say on the surface it’s 90% the Boy Who Cried Wolf kind of morality and only about 10% George Washington.
There is an “ah-hah” moment, where the clueless captain makes a short speech about how it’s our human responsibility to care for our planet, but this moment is disconnected and far less convincing than the rest. On a story level, it’s difficult to understand how this completely sheltered man could have come to that revelation. While I doubt children watching this movie will be analyzing character development, the captain’s statement is a leap of faith that isn’t really backed up by anything substantial. I suspect for a child viewer, that most important message will be lost among the excitement of WALL-E trying to find EVA.
Maybe the half-hearted statement isn’t for the kids though. Maybe that positive message is better communicated by the fact that once WALL-E, a surprisingly well developed, barely verbal character, acts from the beginning with that sense of responsibility. The care with which WALL-E takes, not only to protect the tiny bean sprout, but the lowly cockroach, has the potential to accomplish what scare tactics alone cannot.
WALL-E, as with all Pixar pictures, is visually impressive and entertaining throughout. The environmental message is at times heavy handed, but in the end it’s a good movie because its characters. The humans are flat, but good enough for peripheral characters. EVA is a so-so supporting character, made more interesting by being a dominant, somewhat violent female character, who rescues at least as much as she is rescued. The cockroach provides the apparently obligatory sidekick, (actually there are many of these) but it’s not personified enough to be annoying. And WALL-E, is wonderful and simple, but still compelling enough to carry both the story and the message. I loved this movie because I loved WALL-E.
Recovery
Cop-out post? Perhaps. Here are some photos from the day, plus a drawing I did of the girls.
Their dog, Mogal, agreed with the adults about the early time. This by the way, is the hero dog who chased a coyote away from one of the girls a few years ago. GOOD dog.
Our younger niece has the tendency to get caught up in playing before she finishes unwrapping gifts. Or even starting, really. Note the window very much lacking in sun.
A pretty ornament sent from Matt and Jen’s brother in Jordan.
The girls playing with one of their new toys with grandma. (my mother-in-law)
The girls decided I should be decorated with their leftover bows. I helped a little.
Finished drawing this today, a compilation of the younger niece opening a gift and the older jamming on her new Hanna Montana guitar. They’re far cuter than this in reality.
First Christmas
When I say this is my first Christmas with my husband, I’m not just being cute because we only got married in October. This is the first time I’ve spent Christmas with the man who is my husband.
Something about being with Matt on Christmas makes me realized we’re finally starting our own family. It didn’t hit me, until, oddly enough, I realized I felt a tiny bit guilty that we were leaving the cats alone over the holidays.
Yes, I know they’re cats and they could care less, and anyway, they don’t even know it’s Christmas. I don’t even celebrate Christmas, not being a Christian and all, but there’s enough of a traditionalist in me to look to some of the mainstays of Christmas. Family. Since I’m not going “home” for Christmas family means Matt, and yes, the cats. I’m not saying they’re stand in children or anything crazy-cat-lady like that, but the cats are part of our family.
Still, it was only a really small pang of guilt. In all other ways it’s a good feeling. Matt and I were dating for a few years before we officially decided to get married (though we’d been assuming it as an eventuality for a while) and we were engaged for another year and a half. So it’s nice to have the whole family thing be official, finally.
This is the first time I’m not going home to Oregon, and I’m surprised that it doesn’t feel strange. I miss being with my parents on Christmas, but we’ve never done much for the holidays. I know they’d like to have us there, but I think Mom was a little relieved about not needing to do anything at all special. Instead, this year we’re visiting Matt’s sister (my sister-in-law!), nieces (my new nieces!), mom (my new mother-in-law!) and brother-in-law (my new… brother-in-law-in-law?). My mom is making beef stew and my parents are staying home and watching movies.
Matt’s nieces are six and four, and to me the magic of Christmas diminished somewhat when I was nine and stopped believing in Santa Claus. Maybe it’s just not a real Christmas without little kids jumping up and down to be allowed to check if the cookies and milk are gone and open their gifts from Santa.
Jen (Matt’s sister) told the girls they had to wait until the sun went up to wake everyone up, but I gotta tell you, when we stumbled upstairs to dig into the stockings at 6 this morning, the sun was most definitely not up.
No one minded (though Matt fell asleep for a bit) and we all enjoyed watching the girls tear paper off massive numbers of toys.
I planned to end with some deep commentary about the true meaning of Christmas, but I think that term is a crock and I’d rather go and be part of the family. Happy holidays to everyone.
Giving the Creeps
They weren’t Christmas gifts, they were end of year gifts, but the spirit is the same. In fact, I’d intentionally not bought anything for any of my teachers for Christmas because I didn’t want to look like I was sucking up. I figured the end of the year would be safe.
They were my teachers and even Miss Grace, the youngest teacher I’d ever had, was ten years older than I was. At fourteen, ten years is a very long time. Ten years is still a long time. So I really couldn’t imagine what they would want. It was hard to understand them as people, though I was beginning to get a glimpse. As always before, I fell back on my standby of drawing.
When I got to high school, in addition to being “the creepy girl” and, a year later, once I started fencing, “the girl who plays with swords,” I was known as “that girl who draws weird shit.” For some reason, the second part didn’t make it to the teachers.
They never seemed to notice that I was drawing people turned forcibly inside out, or little girls trapped in holes, or once: a woman naked and lying on the floor, menstrual blood streaming down her legs, needles stuck in in every inch of her body, pinning her to the ground with blood spilling from those holes as well. I don’t know what happened to that drawing. I think it scared me enough that I threw it away as soon as I finished drawing it. I’m kind of glad.
To the teachers, I guess I was just the girl who draws.
For Miss Grace I thought I should draw something fun and colorful, so I gave her a humorous drawing of Noah’s Ark, splitting at the seams with children (I figured a guy that old had to have dozens of grandchildren) and animals stalking each other.
For Mr. McGinnus though, I had larger plans.
Under Mr. McGinnus, we had lively interesting conversations that made me take notice even when I wasn’t drawn to the text. He drew these ridiculous graphs on the board. Three circles representing the different kinds of love: Eros, Amor, Agape. A sliding scale to show how the dragon is the anti-king becuase while the dragon hoards gold, the (good) king wants to keep it in circulation. Might even have his head on the coin.
I don’t explain this to sing the praises of a good teacher, though I should, and the world could certainly use more of them. I explain all this to show how I went from point A: Noah’s Ark, to point B: something nastier.
See, Mr. McGinnus taught me to analyze things, and as I saw it, Mr. McGinnus liked things complicated. Kids liked to say that Mr. McGinnus could read deeper meaning into the Lion King, and he did too. When he heard the challenge, he brought in his daughter’s video and showed us how the Lion King was simply another Eden story, with the disruptive female destroying the garden.
So I figured I needed to draw something that Mr. McGinnus could analyze if I wanted him to enjoy it. Take a look at literature, or even just look at the books we read Freshman year. A book of Greek Myths, BeWulf, Romeo & Juliet. I never got around to reading Great Expectations. In the things I did read, war and death were prominent.
I drew him a war. I sat two people down at a chess board – not God and the Devil or Death, just two people, and around them I cast a whole bloody group of people acting out their war. The pawns, naturally, were children. Looking with an adult’s eyes, I can say with some confidence that it was pretty horrible.
I worked on that thing for WEEKS. It didn’t occur to me until, oh I dunno, sometime this month, that it must have been a pretty disturbing thing to get from a fourteen year old.
He never mentioned it, which didn’t seem strange since I gave it to him the day before summer break and I wasn’t in his class the next year. Did he throw it away? Keep it and brood? Actually hang it on the wall somewhere?
I wonder if he stopped liking me after that. Maybe he thought it was a cry for help, or, worse, a declaration of violent intent. I wonder If I frightened him when all I wanted to do was give him something he’d like.
Mr. McGinnus left before my junior year, moved to California. Later that year, my classmates sat rooted to our seats in physics, listening to the radio account of Kip Kinkle opening fire on his classmates, twenty minutes away from our high school. For the next year and a half, kids were watched like criminals, any strange behavior got you put on a watch list. Anything beyond strange could get you expelled. Columbine only made it worse, and brought back the fear of the Thurston shooting, which suddenly was supposed to be no big deal by comparison. It wasn’t only the teachers, I watched my classmates too, wondering who could explode someday and take the rest of us with us. I had waking nightmares where we lined up for graduation and someone behind a spotlight started gunning us down.
If Mr. McGinnus hadn’t left, would I have ended up on a watch list? There’s no denying I was strange. Some of the kids even seemed to be afraid of me, because I wasn’t like them. I encouraged it: fear is so much better than scorn. I can probably never know what he thought of that drawing. I only hope sometime he realized that, creepy or not, it was meant to be a gift. Not a threat.
Back Pain and Sexism
While I was wrapping gifts yesterday, I felt something in my back move. Nothing agonizing, just a sharp pain that very clearly said: “You REALLY don’t want to do that.”
My body talks to me. I’ve not had any major sports related injuries (fencing is surprisingly safe as long as you’re not an idiot) but I have endured tendinitis, sprains, pulled muscles and assorted foot issues. I have a pretty good idea by now of when my body is saying, “HEY, cut it out!”
This pain was endurable, I could have ignored it, but it was saying to be very careful. So I experimented. Carefully. I found that I could bend at the waist with only a little pain as long as I supported myself entirely with my arms and moved slowy. Standing upright didn’t hurt at all but I couldn’t sit down.
Fortunately, it was already 11 at that point, so I just gave up gift wrapping and went to bed, with Matt trailing after me carrying all the things I couldn’t bend over to pick up.
I can’t sleep on my back. Mostly I sleep on my stomach, which as any doctor will tell you is, for back health, the worst possible way to sleep. I moved around trying to find a satisfactory position and I think at one point while I was on my side (which hurt) something moved back to where it came from.
This morning my back was both better and worse. I can sit, which is good since I’ll be spending 4 hours tomorrow stuck in a car and I think we’d get some funny looks if I tried standing up the whole way. On the other hand, last night the pain was very localized, there was just one spot that hurt only when I moved in a certain way. Now, it’s sore all the time, and the area all around it has tightened up. I can feel the effects of it from my neck all the way down to my ankle: the name of the game when it comes to backs. It’s no longer a “You’d better not!” pain though, more of a nervous, “Oh, oh, I don’t know…”
The doctor says it’s a pulled muscle, so it’s good that it’s nothing serious. Still not sure how I pulled a muscle hardly moving. She told me to load up on Motrin and apply heat, get backrubs from Matt (seriously!), and not to expect it to be completely better for a week or two because back injuries are like that. This will make finishing the gift wrapping difficult, but since the pain really isn’t that horrible, it’s mostly just annoying. The real reason I’m glad I went to see the doctor is that she gave me the most fantastic informational sheet on caring for your back.
The information sheet is photocopied poorly so there are places where I can’t read the whole thing, but mostly it’s common sense advice like: Lift with your knees! and Don’t sleep on your stomach! (whoops) At the end though, there’s a little box of Rules to Live By – From Now On. The first column is more of the same. The second column I’ll just have to share:
Chiefly for women
- Wear shoes with moderate heels, at about the same height. (huh?) Avoid changing from high to low heels.
- Put a footrail under your husband’s desk, and a footrest under the crib.
- Diaper the baby sitting next to him on the bed.
- Don’t stoop and stretch to hang the wash; raise the clothesbasket and lower the washline.
- Beg or buy a rocking chair. Rocking rests the back by changing the muscle groups used.
- Train yourself vigorously to use your abdominal muscles to flatten your lower abdomen. In time, this muscle contraction will become habitual, making you the envied possessor of an attractively feminine body-profile!
- Wherever you are, let a man open doors and raise windows. Men have greater natural forearm strength, well adapted for these movements.
Love the use of “well adapted” here, as though evolution factored in things like doors and windows. I couldn’t make out enough of the last bullet point to make any sense of it (not that all of these make sense anyway) but there was definitely something in there about “nature’s corset.” I wish some of these had a bit more explanation. I can accept that a helpful info sheet that MUST come from the sixties would assume household chores and at least one baby, but why does putting a foot rail beneath the hubby’s desk help a woman’s back pain? I guess I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt here and assume there is a sound medical reason for strengthening abdominal muscles beyond, you know, the figure.
The doctor probably shouldn’t have given the sheet to me: I’m not sure that laughing is really the best thing for my back right now. Just to be sure though, I’ll ask my husband when he gets home. My brain is a little overheated from all this reading, so I guess a Man’s opinion is needed.