Why We Hate Dentists
As a kid, I wasn’t particularly afraid of the dentist. I remember my mom always talked about dreading the dentist, and I thought it was sort of silly. It was certainly better than the doctor, where a “healthy” visit pretty much guaranteed a SHOT. Dentist visits, at least in childhood, were needle free, and often included stupid little toys or stickers that nonetheless made me happy.
Eventually the charm of rubber smile erasers faded, overwhelmed by the discomfort of fluoride treatments, and probably more memorably, CONSTANT scolding that I wasn’t brushing enough, or not right, or don’t I floss? I floss every day, but I sleep with my mouth open. Apparently that makes me a bleeder, and no amount of brushing or scolding will change that.
I think I really did forget. It’s easy to lose track of time when you don’t really have a regular dentist especially since the student health care I switched to didn’t include dental insurance. I knew the importance of regularly going to the dentist, but I kept putting it off until tomorrow.
Finally, after a five year gap, I had a brown stain on my front tooth and an upcoming wedding. I figured I’d better get my ass in a dental chair. This time, I was truly petrified.
I was afraid I’d need a root canal. My teeth aren’t really the best to begin with, and the 6 month cleanings were the last line of defense, the metaphorical archers, fending off cavities. I knew my outer perimeter warriors (brushing and flossing) weren’t strong enough to put off the enemy without air cover. I was afraid the brown tooth was rotting from the inside. True, I didn’t have any pain, but for all I knew, all my teeth were completely dead and just days away from crumbling completely.
So I went to the dentist, far more tense and worried than ever before. Fortunately the damage wasn’t as bad as I expected. I had some cavities, but only five, and three of those were old fillings starting to decay, which apparently just happens. The stain on my tooth was uneven enamel, polished away in a matter of minutes.
The problem is no matter how theoretically painless, going to the dentist always ends up hurting. Getting my cavities hurt far more this time than I remember from when I was younger. Possibly this is because memory has faded, but I think it’s more likely that degrading fillings made the holes bigger. I’m told now that white fillings are only meant to last two or three years. That means every three years I’ll need a new, slightly bigger, slightly deeper hole drilled in my tooth. Even the silver ones only last five years.
After the Novocain wore off, my teeth and gums hurt for weeks. I’m told this is also normal, though I don’t remember that either. Currently, more than a month after my most recent filling, it hurts to floss between two of my teeth and I can’t chew on the left side. I complained to my dentist and, after having the teeth checked, was told, there’s nothing wrong. Even though it hurts. Even though I can only eat on one side of my mouth. That’s just fine.
Then there’s my notoriously sensitive gums. Bleeding is pretty much guaranteed, followed by scolding for not flossing, which I do. I feel guilty even though I’m doing everything right. Getting my teeth cleaned is downright painful even without the horrible noise caused by scraping off tarter. It sounds, and feels, like they’re scraping off part of my teeth.
At least when you go to the Doctor, you get a pat on the head if you’re more or less healthy. An approving smile if your blood preassure is where it should be. These days, I don’t have to expect booster shots every healthy visit. Go to the dentist and you are in for an uncomfortable half hour with someone’s hands in your mouth, awful noises and gagging on x-ray film. Cavities mean a needle that, swear to god, looks like a medieval torture instrument, leveled at you in your vulnerable leaned back chair, temporary facial paralysis, nasty tasting fluid made up of saliva, decay and PARTICLES OF YOUR TEETH. And cavities or not, always with the scolding.
It’s not the dentist’s fault, but going in is at best unpleasant. It seems like every time you go it’s just a little bit more painful, instead of less, and no matter how hard you try, your teeth are a losing battle, wearing down more every year. I suppose that’s true of your body as well, but at 27 it’s not nearly so apparent. When my dentist says fillings need to be replaced every few years, I wonder how long I’ll have a tooth there. I face mortality, in the form of my tooth, and everything hurts more than it did before they “fixed” it.
As Promised
Nothing hugely amazing, but I need to get back into the habit of sketching wherever I happen to be.
The drummers were great fun to watch, much more active than I captured in my drawing.
A couple little girls started dancing nearby, very cute.
Until Further Notice
Duh, I’m an idiot. Sketches that I meant to attach at the end of previous post will be added sometime tomorrow instead. Maybe I’ll even fix a few of the typos.
Chicago Coffee
I meant to write this post after our last trip to Chicago, then I forgot all about it. Fortunately, when Matt and I went back to Chicago last week (ok, two weeks ago?) and I remembered again.
We found this funky coffee shop somewhere near Evensville. In terms of design elements, the main thing that caught my attention was the use of coffee mugs: they had an entire segment of wall pegged with non-matching mugs. 
There were a few pretty ones I guess, but most were nothing special. They weren’t all that different from a collection you might expect to find in a less organized home cubbord. Some of them were pretty dated, some were downright ugly, though not ugly enough to be really special, if you know what I mean. The total effect was interesting. The fact that they didn’t match just made the collection more impressive, it looked fun and eclectic, and really matched the feel of the coffee house. Also, eco-friendly– using obviously recycled mugs instead of buying new ones or using cardboard cups– which is nice.
Another feature I liked was a more common coffee shop element, a collection of for-sale artwork hanging on the walls. This is a great, probably free (or even profit making) way to decorate a coffee shop that also supports local artists (I assume local) which is fantastic. 
I love to see businesses helping each other, realizing that it’s possible for more than one party to profit at once; not everything is competition.
I’m not sure whether it’s a common occurrence, but the night we were there, a drum circle was practicing/preforming. When they started out I thought I was going to have to leave, the rhythm wasn’t all that, well, rhythmic, and it was unbearably loud. Pretty quickly though I got used to the noise level and, more importantly, the drummers warmed up, and pretty soon I was really enjoying it.
While I was there I did some sketching:
Edit: Sketches added in later post.
A Pause
Well, we’re on the way to Michigan. Or Dayton. I’m really not sure at this point.
The plus side is that we’ll be back home on the weekend, and then in town for at least two weeks. With any luck, traveling will even out after that. Matt and I are both worn out.
I had my thesis defense yesterday, and I passed (*phew!*) so I will receive my MFA in May. My novel still needs probably one good overhaul, then I’ll be ready to start looking for publishers. I’d also like to get a few good chapter illustrations to send off with the manuscript.
My mind kept slipping to Sheila during and after the defense, which made the day a little bitter-sweet… but mostly sweet. I wish I’d emailed her in October when I finished the first draft, I wish I’d sent her a card, and most of all, I wish I’d invited her to my wedding even though I didn’t think she’d be able to go. But I know she’d be happy for me today, and I know she was pleased with what I was writing back at the start. I felt her triumph as my thesis comittee discussed the success of my most difficul character: the one Sheila insisted I get right.
I am starting to get myself together in terms of goals. In addition to polishing the novel, right now I’m concentrating on updating my art portfolio so I can start sending out samples. My technique has improved since I graduated from ND, and I think at my current level, I have a reasonable chance of getting work. I’d also like to start revising some of my old short stories, which I haven’t so much as glanced at in 2 years, or even *gasp* write new ones. If all goes according to plan, I can get myself back into a reasonable work schedule. At home.
For now, stuck in the car, I’ll leave you with a photo. I bet you’re sick of pictures of the road, so here’s one of some crabs:
