When I met Matt he worked at a bank. It was probably more exciting than it sounds. My favorite part of him working at a bank was that he had some awesome stories. He had at least a few about bank robbery attempts, but this is my favorite.

A man walks into a bank, I can’t remember which bank so let’s say Lots-o-money bank. You can substitute the bank chain of your choice. Anyway, he walks into Lots-o-money bank and grabs a deposit slip, writing on the paper: “I have a gun, put all the money in the bag, tell no one.” He then gets in line with his deposit slip/robbery note and waits. And waits. The line at Lots-o-money bank is moving too slowly for his taste.

The man isn’t picky, and there’s another bank, Matt’s bank, right across the street. So he gets out of line and crosses the street to stand in line at Matt’s bank, which is much shorter. After a few minutes he gets to the bank window and hands the teller his note/deposit slip.

Without really processing what is on the note, the teller speaks automatically, “I’m sorry sir, this deposit slip isn’t from our bank. I can’t accept this.” She hands back the note. “You need Lots-o-money bank, across the street.”

The man apologizes and accepts his robbery note back from her. Then he leaves the bank, and walks back across the street to get back in line at Lots-o-money bank.

The bank teller at Matt’s bank realizes what was written on the deposit slip as the man walks out the door. She calls the police, watching the man walk back into the Lots-o-money bank.

The man is arrested three minutes later, still in line at Lots-o-money bank.

***

And that’s why you have to wait so long in line when you go to the bank.

*First and last images from flickr users rpongsaj and Gamma Man. Second image from 401K Calculator.