Baby Girl

This little girl was less cooperitive than Ender, who slept through the whole ultrasound. She did give a lovely profile at the very beginning which is one of the only ultrasound images I can actually easily recognize. CALL2That and the creepy skull shot:

CALL4Will my daughter haunt your nightmares?

CALL7I’m counting 6 toes personally, but the doctor and ultrasound tech didn’t say anything so I’m just gunna go ahead and assume I’m wrong there.

The heart was super cool, but they didn’t save any photos for us- I’m not sure it would have been quite as awesome in a still image anyway. It was like a pulsing clover plant. I also love the look of the spine in ultrasound, but that also is not something they include on the CD. But hey, they gave us a CD this time! The digital images are actually much easier to see than the thermal paper images, much less the thermal images scanned into a digital file.

So if you hadn’t heard the news yet, I’m pregnant. 😉 Due in early August. Matt and I are both super excited. Ender told me he’s excited to have a little sister and then told me he wanted to hit her, so, you know, we’ll see.

He watched the first minute or so of the ultrasound, then lost interest. Can’t really blame him since it’s kind of hard to see the baby most of the time. The baby did not sit still for the entire thing which was freaking awesome… she was kicking and squirming all over the place, sucked her fingers, wriggled around. She had her hands in fists and the ultrasound tech kept shaking my belly trying to get her to unclench. At one point the baby popped a single digit up and I told her, “I think she just gave you the finger.” She said, “Yes, but I need all five.”

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  • 31 Oct 2013, 8:51pm

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    Five Years

    anni_09Matt when I met you, I think I found the only other member of my species on this planet.

    anni_01I am constantly amazed that you can see the things I see, yet you also manage to give me new views of the world.

    anni_10Loving you, and knowing your love, has reminded me what it means to be alive.

    anni_05Sometimes when I’m awake late at night, I’m so overwhelmed that I have to kiss your skin while you sleep.

    anni_02I will give you all my strange thoughts, and listen to the ideas you share.

    anni_04I promise never to hijack your spaceship or trap you in a web of electro-magnetic beams, and my kisses will never be poison.

    anni_11When you are sad or angry, I will do whatever I can to help you.

    anni_12When we encounter trials, I will stand next to you and face them with you.

    anni_13And when you are happy, I will be excited and glad for you.

    anni_06I will never make you guess when something is wrong, nor will I make you wait to hear: I love you, I love you, I love you.

    anni_03My Marriage Vows – October 18th, 2008

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  • 6 Jan 2012, 5:33pm
    animals & children commentaries death life

    Comments Off on Chyna


    I wonder why they say “It’s for the best.”

    Rather, I know why they say it. If you’re a vet, you probably see mostly sick animals, and when they’re really sick, death is a saving grace to the pain which is your vision of that animal’s normal. If someone’s cat was hit by a car, of course you wouldn’t say “It was for the best.” When your cat gets a sudden illness, or even a less sudden illness, it is one long car accident, culminating in death. When it’s over, and you’re stroking the fur of what used to be your cat, you are still reeling from coming home to find her wheezing and lethargic, barely able to move and not interested in tuna. When the vet says “It’s for the best,” you are still thinking of uneaten tuna.

    “It’s for the best” is like a slap, but a slow slap, that you can see coming.

    It brings up those secret worries about snowballing vet bills. Googling “hepatitis” and the dismay at complicated and expensive long term treatment on top of the twice a day insulin injections and hepatitis has a different special diet than diabetes and there will probably be more urine and vomit and blood and probably diarrhea to clean up now. In the end you conclude she’s worth it, but when the vet says, “It’s for the best,” that little part of you that was tallying up the logistics of animal illness slinks lower down inside you, hunched with guilt.

    Chyna (pronounced Chee-nuh) was probably about 8.

    Back when Matt was still living in his own apartment, I had a project using a little piece poster board. The rest of the poster board I folded in half, into a rough Teepee shape and wrote “cat house” on the side. To my delight, Chyna ran right over it and proceeded to camp out. She played in that paper Teepee for weeks as it lost it’s shape sliding wider and lower, and she had to crawl on her belly to get underneath.

    A pair of freshly ironed pants once attacked her, and she was afraid of pants for the next several months.

    She liked to attack dust, or towels or toes under doors.

    If you made the mistake of scratching your leg beneath a blanket, Chyna was there to help you SCRATCH harder. Then when you jerked your hand out from under the blanket she perked up and said, “pet me?” with her eyes.

    Her meow sounded surprisingly like the word “hello” and I’d always meant to record it, but never got around to it.

    She liked to carry toys in her mouth and meow around them, and often meowed in the darker corners of the house, as though she was exploring. If we called out to her, she we glance at us, then continue her expedition. Hello? Hello?

    A few years ago we adopted Tricky, and Chyna, though she was eventually happier for the company, started binge eating to keep the new cat from getting her food. She slowly gained weight and started slowing down, acting old. About a year and a half ago, we found out she had diabetes, and almost as soon as we started treatment, she started acting like a kitten again, and was more loving and social than ever. The new house was likewise good for her, with more spaces, more places to climb, more perches, and spaces to crouch beneath.
    With some cats it seems like the only time they come near you is when they want to be fed or they want to be pet, but Chyna would follow you around to see what you were up to. If your lap was full, she would curl up by your leg, or if it was too hot, she’d curl up a few inches away, purring and clearly just happy to be near you. Her favorite place in the world was the bathroom, and the first time she tried to jump on Matt’s lap he was in the bathroom and he was, shall we say, unprepared for a lap cat.

    When Ender came into the picture, Chyna was the first cat to sniff him (though she’s also been the smarter cat in terms of keeping out of reach as he starts to grab for furry things) and when he cried she would meow at us in evident concern that we weren’t taking care of him fast enough. One of our friends brought a toddler to the house, and when we weren’t watching closely enough, she picked up Chyna around the middle, and carried her into the room, arms and legs sticking awkwardly out in front. Chyna didn’t try to scratch or bite the little girl, she just looked at us and meowed pitifully as if to say, “can you do something about this please?” I really hoped we would get a few years of trying to stop Ender chasing her around before we would have to say goodbye.

    Whenever we got home from a trip, or even a long day of errands, Chyna would be sitting at the french doors, looking out for us. As we got out of the car, she would stand up expectantly, and we could see her mouth opening to meow at us.



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