Oh, that’s right. I remember now.

I managed a post for every day of holidailies, even if it wasn’t posted every day (I think I missed one day, but started a day early, so it evened out) which totals 32 days (including this one) in a row of blog posts. I realize this isn’t an enormous accomplishment, but it’s what I set out to do, so I’m happy to have finished it. I’ve also managed to get some (thought by no means all) of the holiday things done that I needed to do, so it’s not as though everything dropped to the side so I could get the blogging done, something I’ve been known to fall into in the past. A few things dropped to the side, but I think nothing important. I got several batches of chex mix baked for gifts, two glitter bottles finished for Ender, the wave bottle finished (thought not sealed) and two drawings done for Matt. Again, none of these things are especially epic on their own, but they are all the sorts of things I often mean to do, and don’t get around to, so I’m happy, and optimistic about my goals for the year.

If you missed my 2011 wrapup here are my goals for 2012:

1. Find time to do something creative at least a few times a week.
2. Submit a short story to magazines.
3. Re-write chapter 1 of novel.
4. Create dummy for picture book, and 2 finished pages. Submit picture book to publishers.
5. Create one simple (even if entirely useless) iPad app.

There are several other cascading goals, and better defined goals, that come from the ones above, but those are a good target for me at the moment, and I’m feeling pretty good about them at the moment. I’m starting out by giving myself small (very small) daily goals such as getting a sketch done, or spending an hour doing some editing. Re-focusing my efforts in this (these) direction(s) should help get me back into doing what I want to be doing, and what I need to be doing. I think daily blogging has been a good step stone for that, and helped me get some of my thoughts organized.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and enjoyed holidailies. Off we go.

Giveaway Winner

I did a shirt credit giveaway December 19. The winner is Sherck with the suggestion: “Stare at it until you can see the Magic Eye picture (I swear it’s there, and I can’t believe they would put that on a onesie).” Sherck, I’ll get in contact with the shirt blanks company when I get back from Oregon (in about a week) and figure out how to get you your $25 credit then. This is my first giveaway with an outside company, so forgive me if I fumble a bit.

Matt and I debated about giving Ender such a loaded nickname. Forget the fact that Ender Wiggin killed two children (in self defense) before he was 12, and forget that he unknowingly committed mass xenocide. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, a summary of Ender’s Game should help.)

Ignoring all of the acts he was tricked or pushed into committing, there’s still the problem of (the character) Ender’s own experience: his childhood didn’t exist, and once “freed” from the training of killing buggers he spent the rest of his life trying to absolve himself of the guilt of that war. He is never at any kind of peace until he marries Novinha on Lusitania some… 3000(?) years later, and that is a half-peace, under shared guilt and the weight of disaster.

It’s not something anyone would wish on a child, and names are nothing if not wishes for our children. Look at the most common meanings of names: beautiful, lucky, joyous, strong.

Except the character of Ender is not just the sum of his actions and experiences. He’s the most compassionate bad-ass imaginable. Oh, and a genius besides. And everyone he comes in contact with can’t help but love him. These are far from bad things, even if they are the very traits that get him into Battle School, and more importantly, the traits that pushed him to the top of Battle School, and ultimately made him responsible for winning the Bugger war.

We played with other nicknames. When I talked to him while I was pregnant, I usually called him “Ollie.” It’s funny, it seemed automatic at the time, but now Ollie is a totally different being: Ollie was the fetus and I can’t imagine this baby being anyone but Ender. Of course he could decide he hates it when he gets older, but fortunately Olivander lends itself to all sorts of nicknames. These days I’ve given up on telling people Ender is “short for” Olivander, because generally it just confuses them.

Matt and I both loved the name Olivander, but we weren’t settled on it. I’d thought of the name Ender independently, but wanted to give our baby a name with some meaning aside from a literary character, and Ender, as far as I know, has no meaning beyond the literal “one who ends,” which is not the most auspicious of meanings for a baby. As a nickname though, it’s an entirely different matter.

We were listening to the audiobook of Ender’s Game, and all its sequels, on a series of long trips. Matt had read Ender’s Game before, but not recently enough to remember it. I’ve read it so often I have bits memorized (which isn’t actually unusual… that is true of many of my books).  As we got to the end of one of the books, Matt said, “couldn’t we name him Ender?” He was half joking. I grinned at him and pointed out that if Ender could be a nickname for Andrew, surely it could be a nickname for Olivander. I think we were pretty much decided after that.

When you think about it, any interesting literary character probably didn’t have a wonderful time of it- otherwise they wouldn’t be interesting. Misery and conflict is what makes a story. If we have a wish for our children, it would be boredom, and if naming our children were granting wishes, we would never name them for literary characters. No one wants their children to have adventures.

Naming isn’t wishgranting though, it’s giving. And if we are giving Ender anything from the character Ender, I hope it’s a taste of future, of things that seem impossible, of everyday beauty and love. Maybe the knowledge that nothing is ever as simple as it seems, and a bit of healthy distrust for authority. Independence but not loneliness, responsibility but not guilt. And especially a sense of open possibility.

Mostly though, we named him Ender, because it’s awesome. We can only hope he thinks so too.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Had a baby.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t seem to have written them down, so I’m guessing not. I think I was afraid to share them because I didn’t know if I could make them. Having a baby is a pretty decent excuse, so I don’t feel too terrible. This year, no excuses. I will find time.

Resolution 1. Find time to do something creative at least a few times a week.
Resolution 2. Submit a short story to magazines.
Resolution 3. Re-write chapter 1 of novel.
Resolution 4. Create dummy for picture book, and 2 finished pages. Submit picture book to publishers.
Resolution 5. Create one simple (even if entirely useless) iPad app.

I think I can accomplish more than that, but if I meet those five resolutions, I’ll be happy, because it will be more forward movement than I’ve had in a while.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No one especially close, but several casual friends had babies, a couple more are due in January, and I’ve made friends with a couple women from my birthing class.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes. We also had several friends suffer miscarriage.

5. What countries did you visit?

None, but hoping to get to Canada next year. Not exactly exotic, but hey, we can drive there.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

A garden. Workspace. Better sleep.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

June 1st, Ender’s birthday.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Finally finishing painting Ender’s bedroom (like TODAY)! Looking forward to having a room to ourselves for the first time in 7 months (7!). We also finally got the studio/office space pained, and should be able to get it at least partially set up in January.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I’m sure I’ve had plenty of small failures, but I don’t feel as downcast about this year as I did last year. I spent half the year pregnant and exhausted, and the other half nursing a new baby (and still exhausted) so I think it was a sort of waiting year and… a just being year if that makes any sense.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Does pregnancy count? Actually the pregnancy (mostly) wasn’t bad, but the actual birth was epic. A good reminder of how skilled biology is at getting us to ignore our rational fear of pain for the purpose of reproduction.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

This is a toss-up between most useful and coolest, so I’m going to go with the one that brings me the most joy: this awesome mobile. I love it almost as much as Ender does, and I think he may recognize the word “fishies” now.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Baby stuff.

13. What did you get really excited about?

Approaching due date, having a newborn, watching him grow.

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Mad World. I’ve heard it before, but it keeps coming up on my Pandora station and I sort of re-discovered it.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– happier or sadder? Happier!
– thinner or fatter? Probably still fatter? About 10 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight.
– richer or poorer? I think about the same.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

There is more I could have done this year, but I’m not sure I would change anything about the time I spent if given the chance.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Staying up too late when I know I’m going to be up at 7am- latest.

18. How did you spend Christmas?

Visiting family and watching my nieces try to teach my son to crawl.

19. What was your favorite TV program?

Doctor Who. Doctor Who? DOCTOR WHO!?

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

Well I’m not sure I’d call it enjoyable, but Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, has been a big help. It was nice to finally get to read A Dance with Dragons but I found it kind of frustrating, knowing that the next one could be another five years. But hey, at least he didn’t ax my favorite character like I thought he did!

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

Been totally addicted to Pandora this year.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

I don’t know that I’ve actually seen a movie this year. My friend Amy tried to get me to go see Harry Potter with her, but at that point I was having to pee every half hour, so paying for a movie ticket just seemed wasteful.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 30! I was in Eugene (Oregon), introducing Ender to my parents. It was a surprise.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I can’t think of anything.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Maternity. And nursing tops. Online shopping.

26. What kept you sane?

Help from family. Baby sitters. NETFLIX (about all you can do while cluster feeding)

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

I think I’ve learned a lot this year… but nothing comes to mind that can be stuffed into a two sentence blurb.

So for me, Christmas shopping for Ender is just as much fun as shopping for myself, if not more so. Long before I was pregnant, I’d already spent countless hours reading about toy design and the best developmental toys (spoiler, if it says “educational” it usually isn’t), and the toys that last longest as playthings with creative interest.

We decided to make Ender some “discovery bottles” as one of his main presents this year, limiting the number of toys we’d actually buy for him at an age where he can’t tell the difference between a new toy, an old toy, a kitchen spoon and the wrapping paper we annoyingly won’t allow him to put in his mouth.

We did take the opportunity to pick up on a few things for him that we know we will be buying sooner or later anyway, and family gave us a few more.

The first thing I KNEW we needed to get Ender, was a set of edible finger paints from Wee Can Too. I’ve always figured as soon as they’ve got the vision to see colors changing, and the ability to control their own hand movement, babies are ready to start experimenting with art. Unfortunately, available art supplies don’t reflect that. Though all (surely?) children’s art supplies are labeled “non-toxic,” they are recommended for ages 18 months minimum, and it’s pretty obvious that eating large quantities would be inadvisable.

So I was really excited to find paints that are actually designed for babies as young as 6 months. The paints are edible, but the owner of the company tells me they dry to colors that will keep on paper, and can be framed. We haven’t had a chance to try it out yet, but maybe sometime this week I’ll be feeling adventurous. They are made of food, so once babies are starting solid foods, they can use the paints.

We also got him a size sorter from P’kolino which is very nice looking. I don’t think he’s quite old enough to understand the purpose yet, but they’re sturdy pieces that he can gnaw on until he figures out that the fish go in the holes.

We were planning to stop with those two purchases, figuring that those plus the discovery bottles would be more than enough to fill the space under the tree. We ended up getting a couple last minute gifts though.

A set of Gymboree bubbles, because Ender is finally starting to watch bubbles with interest and I thought it would be fun for his cousins to blow bubbles while he watched. The weekend was so busy we never got around to it.

We also got him a small travel Sophie. If you’re not in the know Sophie is this little rubber giraffe that seems much more like a dog’s squeaky toy than a baby teether, but apparently every baby on the face of the planet LOVES it. Ender is no exception, and when he’s getting fussy, sometimes all you need to do is hand him Sophie and he chills out like it’s coated with vodka (no, it’s not coated with vodka). Seeing that, getting a travel Sophie for our plane trip in a few weeks seemed like a good idea, so that got added to the pile.

Family contributed a number of other toys from our wish list. There is the goldfish bowl (clear plastic soft container), with plush ocean creatures you can dump and drop inside. He got a Skwish which should also help keep him occupied on the plane. And he got this cool shape shifting chair toy (also P’kolino) which will make a fun crawling and climbing obstacle once he’s mobile.

He’ll be crawling any day now I think, and then I guess we’ll see what kind of a mess he makes with all these new things.

As a kid, I complained about our lack of traditions. Most kids I guess complain about having to follow traditions. About having to go to see Aunt Nancy every year even though it’s so boring, and my cousin Victor is a creep who won’t let me watch anything interesting on TV. But I craved the monotony of ritual and the extra connection of the family you only get to see once a year.

My grandmother moved to Oregon to be near us, when I was about 14. Before that, she’d visited on a Thanksgiving or two, and when she was in town, we had Thanksgiving with her brother Jim and his wife Flo, their daughter Mona, and a varying cast of family. No one my age to play with, and nothing for a kid to do there but try and pet the cat that hid from everyone. I loved it. When grandma wasn’t in town, we didn’t do anything.

The Thanksgiving before the Christmas when Dad had to work, I asked Mom, “why don’t we have Thanksgiving with Jim and Flo again?”

“We haven’t been invited.”

I rolled my eyes. I was probably getting good at it by then. “So invite ourselves. Flo won’t care.”

We had Thanksgiving there every year from then on until I left for college, and even though Jim died a few years ago, my parents still celebrate Thanksgiving with Flo and Mona. This makes me happy even though I’m too far to be a part of it.

Christmas though, Christmas could be anywhere. We could do anything. Over the course of my childhood I probably had 10 different stockings, each one picked up at a drug store a week before Christmas. Christmas Eve, we went to a party, the one constant, thrown by a good friend of my parents. They collected Santa statues and grew hot peppers in a pot and played hide the pickle in the Christmas Tree and my Godmother always brought her famous Chex Mix and someone else brought famous deviled eggs and my Dad always made his famous pork tenderloin. Once we got home though, it was all up in the air again. Sometimes we opened a present Christmas Eve, sometimes we opened all the presents from relatives Christmas Eve, sometimes we did stockings Christmas Eve and sometimes we didn’t do anything at all on Christmas Eve. Christmas I opened presents, and there were some GOOD presents, but once the wrapping paper was scattered on the floor and the gifts were laid out, that was it, the day was pretty much over.

And the year I was 12, my mom and I were supposed to stay and have dinner with Dad, but when we’d been there for only a few minutes, the crowd was so thick that we could feel the sweat from the family next to us. Most people don’t go out on Christmas, but when they do, there aren’t many places to go.

Dad couldn’t really sit, or stop, he was too busy. And the noise was bewildering me and giving Mom a headache so she said, let’s go home.

I was down about leaving without having Christmas dinner with Dad. I was more down when we tried to get dinner someplace else and couldn’t find an open elsewhere.

There was no food in the house, beyond salad dressing and ketchup and several bottles of mustard.

We finally stopped at a 7-11. We got Red Barron frozen pizza.

I probably loved it, but at the time I thought it was sad and symbolic. In fact I probably loved that it was sad and symbolic. I was that kind of kid.

And I guess I’m that kind of grown up. I think most Christmases were better than that one. Most of them I was happy and had fun with my parents and loved my presents. I resented not being dragged to the things I was too young to enjoy and thought I must be missing some huge secret.

I don’t have nostalgia for the church services I never went to or the one gift I got to pick out every Christmas Eve to open first, or the way we… well, I can’t really even imagine the traditions I thought I ought to have had beyond what I’ve seen on A Christmas Story.

Instead I get to think back and laugh about the Christmas I went home with Mom and had frozen pizza.

*Images from flickr users ReneS, hodgers and jasonlam.

They sent me three onesies and a receiving blanket. The onesies are black, dark blue and patterned black/white. The blanket is brown. Everything is from the Laughing Giraffe line.

All are 100% cotton which made me happy. Check the site though if that’s what you prefer, not everything is. The shirts that were intended for heat transfer seemed to mostly be cotton-poly blends, so I’m guessing there’s some trick to heat transfer that works better with polyester. I haven’t done any, so I’m not sure. The color is even and strong, and the pattern – some kind of silk screen – doesn’t seem like it will break down quickly, though only time will tell. When I first opened the package the fabric felt a bit plastic-y, but after one wash it feels just fine, soft with a smooth texture. The thickness of the fabric is satisfying, and not cheap feeling.

In terms of sizing, I asked for 12-18 month sizes, and they seem to be about right. They fit Ender in the body ok right now (he’s a big boy) with plenty of room in the head. This seems to be about in line with his other onesie sizes… they may be a tiny bit shorter in length, but it’s hard to tell for sure because 1) Ender grows so fast and 2) baby clothes sizes are all over the place.

One criticism I have of the website is that prices are not clearly displayed anywhere. Now, KidsBlanks is a wholesaler, so maybe there’s a good reason for this, maybe the prices fluctuate so showing a price isn’t really possible, but as a buyer, I will say that when I go to a website without obviously stated prices, I’m not going to bother. In this case, all you have to do to get a pricelist is register.

I haven’t done anything with the onesies yet (aside from dress Ender in them) and am not considering how well they print/paint/bleach/ etc. as part of the review both because I may not get around to crafting as soon as I’d like, and because it doesn’t seem fair to base a review of a product on how well something turns out if I’ve never tried it before with any comparable product.

I already know what I’m doing with the black onesie and the blue onesie, but I’m still chewing on some ideas for the brown blanket, and I’m a stumped on the black and white damask print onesie. Matt suggested painting flames on the front and I was thinking maybe a red circular Chinese dragon. I’m not really sold on anything though.

So! For the giveaway. KidsBlanks is giving the winner $25 worth of products with LG (Laughing Giraffe) or CS (tutus) labels. They say that because their products are wholesale, this is equivalent to $50. I can’t vouch for that part since I don’t know what anything costs, but the products I received are good quality, and I would use them again.

To enter:

Leave a comment with your suggestion, advice or smart-ass remark about what I should do with the damask print onesie. I will pick the comment that makes me happiest. Giveaway ends midnight New Years Day along with 2011.

KidsBlanks by Zoey

A man walks into a bank, I can’t remember which bank so let’s say Lots-o-money bank. You can substitute the bank chain of your choice. Anyway, he walks into Lots-o-money bank and grabs a deposit slip, writing on the paper: “I have a gun, put all the money in the bag, tell no one.” He then gets in line with his deposit slip/robbery note and waits. And waits. The line at Lots-o-money bank is moving too slowly for his taste.

The man isn’t picky, and there’s another bank, Matt’s bank, right across the street. So he gets out of line and crosses the street to stand in line at Matt’s bank, which is much shorter. After a few minutes he gets to the bank window and hands the teller his note/deposit slip.

Without really processing what is on the note, the teller speaks automatically, “I’m sorry sir, this deposit slip isn’t from our bank. I can’t accept this.” She hands back the note. “You need Lots-o-money bank, across the street.”

The man apologizes and accepts his robbery note back from her. Then he leaves the bank, and walks back across the street to get back in line at Lots-o-money bank.

The bank teller at Matt’s bank realizes what was written on the deposit slip as the man walks out the door. She calls the police, watching the man walk back into the Lots-o-money bank.

The man is arrested three minutes later, still in line at Lots-o-money bank.

***

And that’s why you have to wait so long in line when you go to the bank.

*First and last images from flickr users rpongsaj and Gamma Man. Second image from 401K Calculator.

My plan was to fill the rest of the stocking with a set of loose soft blocks, but then it occurred to me that I had a couple empty spice containers I could probably use for something.

I decided to make a pair of rattles, figuring that even though Ender is possibly nearing the end of optimal rattle age, kids don’t outgrow noise makers for much longer.

My first thought was to fill one entirely with bells. I assumed, foolishly, that it would sound like bells.

Apparently bells need a bit of space to really “ring” so this rattle didn’t sound anything at all like bells in spite of being made up entirely of bells. It did sound pretty cool though, sort of like a rain stick. It’s also super sensitive, so if you brush up against the table where it’s resting, the whole thing kind of shivers.

Listen: bells

For the second rattle, I put in a bunch of pebbles, eventually settling on about an inch for optimal sound. This gives a nice solid clunking sound. The spice top has a lid that flips up to attached holes, I think it held pepper flakes. I thought about gluing it shut, but the sound is much better with it open, so sometime in the next couple days I’ll cut it off instead and figure out someway to smooth the plastic.

Listen: rocks

So the second week of December and we’ve got 4 stocking stuffers for the price of bells and sponges. Not too bad.