Warning: this is the product of a flawed mind (mine). If you are viewing with small children, you should not read any further.

Ok, probably you don’t want to know, but I’m going to explain anyway. When I was a little kid I went to some lady’s house for day care for a while. She took care of maybe five kids total, and looking back she was a little… country. The kind of old lady who men dress up to be, who smells a little funny, who refused to pronounce my name correctly. She also liked to tell us stories for our own good. Like about exactly the effects of a brown recluse spider, in graphic detail. And balloons.

So she wanted to tell us how dangerous balloons are, and explained that they can get into your mouth, and will almost immediately slip down your windpipe, where they will not be removable by any method. Even if a doctor is in the room with you, they won’t be able to do a thing, and you’ll certainly die within seconds. Just being in the same room with a balloon is kinda risky. Thousands, maybe millions of children die this way every year, no, every day.

Needless to say, I didn’t like this lady very much, and looking back I think I have to attribute at least a few of my irrational fears to her. Including, obviously, my fear of balloons, which, while not as bad as it was when I was seven or so, still exists.

The last part of the comic was Matt‘s idea though, so fortunately, I’m not the only one with a warped mind. Hope you enjoyed it. As always, comments and critiques are welcome.